Pictures In Our Heads

Are you where you thought you would be
today, 10 years ago? 5 years ago? Do you find yourself thinking that
things are almost right, but somethings not quite the way it should be?
Or are you constantly working on the next project, the next thing until
you get everything ”done” and you’ll be able to relax.

Just more random thoughts I’ve had recently. I read a new report the
other day about a freshman student at OSU who was killed in a freak
accident with an elevator last week. The story highlighted how he was a
nice guy, likable student with many friends. On a completely (sort of)
different note, I bought a box of Gherridelli cocoa powder to make hot
cocoa with. It reminded me of one of my freshman roomates, Shannon. She
got this Coco-motion machine and her mom would send her these
Gherridelli gift packs full of chocolate bars (which she kindly let us
eat) and tons of cocoa mix. She made hot coco in that machine EVERY
day of the year. I am not even exaggerating. We (all 7 of her roomates)
would bring her milk from the commons every week so that she could make
cocoa. It was comical, but so yummy. The best part was that she
actually wore out the machine before the 1-yr warranty was up, so they
sent her a new one for free!

Anyhow, all of this made me think of what my life was like when I
was a freshman. What I worried about, what my ‘vision of the future’
was, if anything other than, eat, pass class and find a boy. As I stood
looking out of our kitchen window into our mostly green backyard, I
wondered if this is what I had been working towards. I am happy with my
life. I am blessed in many ways, but it never ceases to amaze me how
life continues to move on and we just end up in places we never would
have expected. Very often I am sitting in a meeting or someplace new
and I just stop and think to myself. How in the world did I get here?
It was all those little steps in between there and here that did it. I
do my best to pay attention to the little things, but sometimes they
just fly right by.

The other thought I was having was how it’s amazing that no matter
how independent of others ideas and beliefs that we think we are, they
still influence us. For instance, you probably grew up thinking, I’m
gonna do what I wanna do, I’m gonna be different than my parents, I’m
gonna do things different/better/whatever. But do you ever find
yourself trying to do something just the way they did it? I know I do,
and not just recipes in the kitchen. Trying to make our house into a
home, all kinds of stuff. And every now and then I catch myself getting
all bent out of shape because I couldn’t get something to go just they
way it was “supposed” to. Where did that come from? And instantly I see
a picture of how I want it to be, and that it is completely influenced
by my life growing up. At least when I realize this, I can take a step
back and try to figure out why it matters so much. Ok, enough rambling.

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  • Heather - How’s this? Two comments in one week! This was a good post, Karyn, and I’m glad you wrote it. I like seeing what’s going on in your head! AND, it relates exactly to what some friends and I are learning in a study.

    Two quotes to ponder:
    “We must get rid of the plauge of the spirit of this religious age in which we live. In our Lord’s life there was none of the pressure and the rushing of tremendous activity that we regard so highly today, and a disciple is to be like his Master. The central point of the kingdom of Jesus Christ is a personal relationship with HIm, not public usefulness to others…As you journey with God, the only thing that He intends to be clear is the way He deals with your soul.” — Oswald Chambers

    “When we finally realize that we were created for God’s purposes — not the other way around — we have the equal challenge of recognizing that life is not about getting from point A to point B so that we can REALLY begin to live. We must focus on the process that takes us from point A to point B, and that process is all about knowing God and defining our identity by His. God has, is and always will be about loosening our ties to what we do, drawing us closer to Him.” — Women of Purpose

  • gauri - Beautiful entry; I’m feeling that way too, but only not in a positive sense.

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